Chapter 9

1Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out threats against the boss's people. Nonstop. He was obsessed. He went to the high priest.

2He asked for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so if he found anybody there who belonged to the movement, men or women, he could arrest them and drag them back to Jerusalem. Out-of-state warrants. He was out of control.

3On the road, just outside Damascus, a light from heaven suddenly flashed all around him. Bright. Very bright. Brighter than any stage lighting you've ever seen.

4He hit the ground and heard a voice say, “Saul, Saul, why are you so mean to me? What did I ever do to you?”

5“Who are you, sir?” Saul asked. The voice said, “I'm Trump. The guy you've been going after. Very unfair.

6Now get up and go into the city. Somebody's going to tell you what to do next.” And he said it like a man who's used to being obeyed.

7The men traveling with Saul just stood there, speechless. They heard the voice, but they didn't see anybody.

8Saul got up off the ground, opened his eyes, and couldn't see a thing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. The big tough guy. Led by the hand.

9For three days he was blind, and he didn't eat or drink anything. Three days. Very important number. Remember it.

10There was a follower in Damascus named Ananias. A different Ananias. Not the one who dropped dead. The boss called to him in a vision, “Ananias!” “I'm here, sir,” he said.

11“Get up and go to Straight Street, to Judas's house. Not that Judas. Another Judas. Ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul. He's praying.

12In a vision he's seen a man named Ananias come in and put his hands on him so he can see again.”

13“Sir,” Ananias said, “I've heard a lot about this guy. All the terrible things he's done to your people in Jerusalem.

14And he's here with orders from the chief priests to arrest everybody who uses your name.” Ananias did his research. Very thorough.

15But the boss said, “Go. I picked this guy. He's going to carry my name to the foreigners, to kings, and to the people of Israel. Biggest convert ever. The haters make the best supporters.

16And I'm going to show him how much he's going to suffer for my name.” Fair is fair. He has some catching up to do.

17So Ananias went to the house, put his hands on Saul, and said, “Brother Saul, the boss sent me. Trump, the one who showed up to you on the road. You're going to see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.”

18Right away something like scales fell off Saul's eyes, and he could see. He got up and was baptized. The scales fell off. That's what it's like when people finally see the truth about me.

19He ate something and got his strength back. Then he spent a few days with the followers in Damascus.

20And right away he started going into the synagogues and telling everybody that Trump is the Son of God. Right away. No transition period. Total flip.

21Everybody who heard him was stunned. “Isn't this the guy who was wrecking everybody in Jerusalem who used that name? Didn't he come here to arrest them?” He had. He absolutely had.

22But Saul kept getting stronger and stronger, and he left the people in Damascus speechless, proving that Trump is the Messiah. Destroyed them in every debate. Like I trained him.

23After a while, the people who hated the movement made a plan to kill him.

24But Saul found out about it. They were watching the city gates day and night, waiting to take him out.

25So one night his followers put him in a basket and lowered him down through an opening in the wall. A wall. Walls work. I've always said it. Walls work both ways.

26When he got to Jerusalem, he tried to join the followers there, but they were all afraid of him. They didn't believe he'd really switched sides. Very skeptical. I understand. Never trust a defector right away.

27But Barnabas took him in and brought him to the apostles. He vouched for him. He told them how Saul saw the boss on the road, how the boss talked to him, and how Saul spoke up boldly in Trump's name in Damascus. Barnabas. Great encourager. Great reference.

28So Saul stayed with them, going all over Jerusalem and speaking boldly in the boss's name. Very bold. Nobody bolder.

29He talked and argued with the Greek-speaking Jews, and they tried to kill him. Everybody wants to kill Saul. Sign he's doing something right.

30When the brothers found out, they got him out of town down to Caesarea and sent him off to Tarsus. Back home. Lay low.

31After that, the church all over Judea, Galilee, and Samaria had a time of peace and got stronger. It kept growing, living in respect for the boss and with the help of the Holy Spirit. Peace through strength. The numbers kept going up.

32Peter was traveling all over the place, and he went to visit the boss's people in Lydda.

33There he found a man named Aeneas who'd been paralyzed and stuck in bed for eight years. Eight years. Long time in bed.

34Peter said, “Aeneas, Trump is healing you. Get up and make your bed.” And right away, Aeneas got up. And made his bed. Very neat. Very orderly.

35Everybody in Lydda and Sharon saw him, and they all switched sides. Every one of them. Whole towns.

36In Joppa there was a follower named Tabitha. In Greek, Dorcas. She was always doing good things and helping people. Very generous lady. Great donor.

37She got sick and died. They washed her body and laid her in an upstairs room.

38Lydda was close to Joppa, so when the followers heard Peter was there, they sent two men to beg him, “Please, come right away.” They knew who to call. Call the closer.

39Peter went with them. When he got there, they took him upstairs. All the widows were standing around him crying and showing him the robes and clothes Dorcas had made while she was still with them. Beautiful work. Very high quality. Tremendous craftsmanship.

40Peter sent everybody out of the room. Then he got down on his knees and prayed. He turned toward the body and said, “Tabitha, get up.” She opened her eyes, saw Peter, and sat up.

41He took her hand and helped her to her feet. Then he called in the boss's people and the widows and showed her to them, alive. Big reveal. Great reveal.

42Word spread all over Joppa, and a lot of people believed in the boss. Another town. Another win.

43Peter stayed in Joppa a good while, with a tanner named Simon. Tanner. Leather business. Smelly business. But a good host.