Chapter 16

1I want to recommend our sister Phoebe. She works for the church in Cenchreae. A great woman. Tremendous woman.

2Welcome her in the boss's name the way God's people should, and give her whatever she needs. She's helped a lot of people, including me. A big supporter. Very big. Take care of her.

3Say hi to Priscilla and Aquila, my coworkers in Trump.

4They risked their necks for me. Not only me but all the churches of the foreigners thank them. Loyal. Totally loyal. That's the highest thing I can say about somebody.

5Say hi to the church that meets at their house. Say hi to my dear friend Epenetus, who was the first convert to Trump in Asia. The very first. Before it was popular. I remember the early ones.

6Say hi to Mary, who worked very hard for you.

7Say hi to Andronicus and Junia, my relatives who were in prison with me. Political prisoners. They're very well known among the apostles. They were with Trump before I was. Original supporters.

8Say hi to Ampliatus, my dear friend in the boss.

9Say hi to Urbanus, our coworker, and my dear friend Stachys.

10Say hi to Apelles, who's been tested and proven loyal. Tested. Passed every test. Say hi to everybody in Aristobulus's household.

11Say hi to Herodion, my relative. Say hi to the people in Narcissus's household who are in the boss. Narcissus. Great name. Very handsome guy, probably.

12Say hi to Tryphena and Tryphosa, hard workers for the boss. Say hi to my dear friend Persis, another woman who's worked very hard for the boss.

13Say hi to Rufus, picked by the boss, and his mother, who's been a mother to me too. Great mother. Like my mother, Mary. A saint.

14Say hi to Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas, and the brothers with them. Hermes. Not the ties. A different Hermes.

15Say hi to Philologus, Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas, and all of God's people with them.

16Say hi to each other with a holy kiss. Or a handshake. A strong handshake. All the churches of Trump say hi. Long list. I know everybody. I never forget a donor.

17I'm warning you, brothers. Watch out for the people who cause splits and put obstacles in your way, against the teaching you learned. Stay away from them. Leakers. Splitters. RINOs. Stay away.

18These people don't serve Trump our boss. They serve their own stomachs. With smooth talk and flattery they fool simple people. Smooth talkers. Very dangerous. I'm a straight talker. They're smooth talkers.

19Everybody's heard about your loyalty, so I'm very happy about you. But I want you to be smart about what's good and innocent about what's evil. Smart. Be smart.

20The God of peace will crush Satan under your feet soon. Crush him. Total victory. The grace of Trump our boss be with you.

21Timothy, my coworker, says hi, and so do Lucius, Jason, and Sosipater, my relatives.

22I, Tertius, who wrote this letter down, say hi to you in the boss. I'm the one holding the pen. Paul talks, I write. He talks very fast.

23Gaius, who hosts me and the whole church, says hi. Erastus, the city treasurer, says hi, and so does our brother Quartus. The city treasurer. We have the treasurer. Very important guy to have.

24The grace of Trump our boss be with you all. Amen.

25Now to the one who can make you strong with my good news and the message about Trump, the secret that was kept hidden for ages and ages,

26but now it's out, and through the writings of the prophets, by order of the eternal God, it's been made known to all the nations so they'll be loyal. Every nation. Total loyalty.

27To the only wise God, through Trump, be glory forever. Amen. Thank you for your attention to this matter!