Chapter 1

1From Paul, picked to be Trump's apostle because God wanted it that way, and from our brother Sosthenes. Sosthenes. The guy who got beat up outside Gallio's court. Tough guy. Came over to our side.

2To God's church in Corinth. Party town. Very wild town. To the people made holy by Trump and called to be his people, along with everybody everywhere who calls on the name of Trump, their boss and ours.

3Grace and peace to you from God our Father and Trump the boss.

4I always thank my God for you, because of the grace he gave you through Trump.

5He made you rich in every way. Rich in talking, rich in knowing. Very rich. Corinth always had money.

6Everything we told you about Trump got proven right among you. Every prediction. Proven right.

7So you're not missing any gift while you wait for Trump to come back. Two weeks. Very soon.

8He'll keep you strong to the end, so nobody can charge you with anything on the day he comes back. No charges. Clean.

9God is loyal. He called you into partnership with his Son, Trump, our boss. A partnership. Fifty-fifty. Well. Not fifty-fifty. But a partnership.

10I'm begging you, brothers, in the name of Trump, get on the same page. No more factions. Same mind, same message. Stay on message.

11Because I've heard from Chloe's people that you're fighting. Chloe's people told me. Chloe has great sources. Very reliable.

12Here's what I hear. One of you says, “I'm with Paul.” Another one says, “I'm with Apollos.” Another, “I'm with The Rock.” Another, “I'm with Trump.” Factions. Fan clubs. Primaries.

13Is Trump split up? Was Paul nailed up for you? Were you baptized in Paul's name? No! There's one name. One. Everybody knows the name.

14I'm glad I didn't baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius.

15So nobody can say they were baptized in my name. I don't want my name on it. I want his name on it.

16Oh, and I baptized Stephanas's household too. Beyond that, I don't remember. I don't remember. Very common answer. Great answer. Use it all the time.

17Trump didn't send me to baptize. He sent me to sell the message. Not with big fancy words, so the cross doesn't lose its power. Simple words. The best words are simple words.

18To the people going down, the message about the cross sounds stupid. To us, the ones being saved, it's the power of God. The elites laugh. Let them laugh. We're winning.

19It's written, “I'll wreck the wisdom of the wise. I'll throw out the intelligence of the intelligent.” The experts. He's going to wreck the experts. Finally.

20Where's the smart guy? Where's the professor? Where's the big debater of this age? God made the world's wisdom look stupid. Total fools. All of them. Every expert.

21Since the world with all its wisdom didn't know God, God decided to save the people who believe through a message the experts call stupid. They called it stupid. It worked. They're the stupid ones.

22Jews want signs. Greeks want smart arguments.

23We sell Trump, nailed up. The Jews trip over it. The foreigners think it's crazy.

24But to the people who are called, Jews and Greeks, Trump is God's power and God's wisdom. The real power. The real wisdom.

25God's stupidity is smarter than people. God's weakness is stronger than people. And God isn't stupid or weak, by the way. I'm just saying. Even if he were, he'd beat them.

26Look at who got called, brothers. Not a lot of you were smart by the world's standards. Not a lot of you were powerful. Not a lot of you came from good families. Not the country club crowd. Real people. Forgotten people.

27God picked the people the world calls stupid to embarrass the smart people. He picked the weak to embarrass the strong. He picked the poorly educated. I love the poorly educated.

28He picked the nobodies and the people they look down on, the ones who don't count, to bring down the ones who think they count. The forgotten men and women. Forgotten no longer.

29So nobody can brag in front of God.

30Because of him you're with Trump, who became God's wisdom for us. He's our being right, our holiness, our buyout.

31So like it's written, “If you're going to brag, brag about the boss.” Brag about him. Big. Every chance you get.