Chapter 24

1As Trump was walking out of the temple, his disciples caught up with him and started pointing out the buildings. “Sir, look at these buildings. Beautiful, right?” Nice buildings. Not great. Very old. Bad elevators.

2“You see all this?” he said. “It's coming down. Every stone. Not one stone left on another.” Total demolition. And believe me, I know demolition. I'd rebuild it bigger. Much bigger.

3Later he's sitting up on the Mount of Olives, and the disciples come to him privately. “Sir, tell us. When's all this happening? What's the sign that you're coming back and it's the end?” Big question. Very big.

4Trump said, “Be careful. Don't let anybody fool you. There's a lot of fake news out there. A lot.

5A lot of guys are going to show up using my name, saying, 'I'm the Messiah,' and a lot of people are going to fall for it. Imitators. Knockoffs. Cheap copies. They'll even try to copy the hair. They can't.

6You're going to hear about wars and talk of wars. Don't panic. It's going to happen, but it's not the end yet. No new wars under me, by the way. Just talk.

7Countries are going to fight countries. Kingdoms are going to fight kingdoms. Famines, earthquakes, all over the place. Very bad stuff. Terrible stuff.

8And that's just the beginning. The beginning! It gets worse, folks. Much worse.

9Then they're going to come after you. Arrest you, kill you. Every country's going to hate you because of me. Because they hate me. They really hate me. It's jealousy, mostly.

10A lot of people are going to quit. They'll turn on each other, rat each other out. Disloyalty. The worst thing. I can't stand disloyalty.

11A lot of fake prophets are going to show up and fool a lot of people. Pollsters, mostly. Pundits. Cable news.

12There's going to be so much crime, people are going to stop caring about each other. Very cold. Like Davos.

13But if you hang in there to the end, you're saved. Hang in there. Never concede. Never, ever concede.

14And this good news is going to go out to the whole world, every country, and then the end comes. Worldwide distribution. Every country. Biggest launch in history.

15So when you see the terrible thing Daniel talked about, standing right there in the holy place—read Daniel, great prophet, very underrated—

16if you're in Judea, run for the mountains. Get out. Don't wait. Don't pack.

17If you're up on the roof, don't go back inside to grab your stuff. Leave it. Insurance will cover it. Probably.

18If you're out in the field, don't go back for your coat. Even a nice coat. Even cashmere.

19It's going to be very hard on pregnant women and new moms in those days. Very tough times. Sad.

20Pray you don't have to run in the winter or on the Sabbath. Winter travel is the worst. Delays everywhere. That's why you get your own plane.

21Because it's going to be the worst disaster ever. Worse than anything since the beginning of the world, and nothing will ever be that bad again. Records broken. Bad records, but records.

22If those days weren't cut short, nobody would make it. But for the chosen people, it's getting cut short. The elect. Great word. I was elected. Twice. Some say more.

23So if anybody tells you, 'The Messiah's over here!' or 'He's over there!' don't believe it. Unless it's me. You'll know it's me.

24Fake messiahs and fake prophets are going to show up and do big, flashy tricks to fool people, even the chosen ones, if they can. Very convincing frauds. Deep fakes. AI. Terrible stuff.

25Remember, I told you first. I'm always first. I called it. I called all of it.

26So if they say, 'He's out in the desert,' don't go. If they say, 'He's hiding in a back room,' don't believe it. I don't hide in back rooms. I'm out front. Front and center.

27When the Son of Man comes, it's going to be like lightning across the whole sky, east to west. Everybody's going to see it. Biggest ratings ever. Bigger than the Super Bowl.

28Wherever there's a dead body, the vultures show up. Like reporters at a scandal. Same thing.

29Right after all that, the sun's going to go dark, the moon's going to go out, the stars are going to fall out of the sky, and the whole sky is going to shake. Very dramatic. Great special effects. Nobody does effects like God.

30Then the sign of the Son of Man shows up in the sky. And everybody on earth is going to cry when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds, very powerful, very glorious. The haters will cry. Big time. They'll say, 'We should have listened.'

31And he's going to send his angels out with a loud trumpet, and they'll gather up his people from every corner of the world. A trumpet! Trump-et! It's practically in the name, folks. You can't make this up.

32Learn something from the fig tree. Not the one I fired. A different one. When the branches get soft and the leaves come out, you know summer's coming.

33Same thing here. When you see all this happening, you know it's close. Right at the door. Knocking. Very loud knocking.

34I'm telling you, this generation isn't going anywhere until all this happens. Mark it down. Write it down. Put it on a hat.

35Heaven and earth are going away. My words aren't going anywhere. The best words. Eternal words. They'll be studying my posts for a thousand years.

36But what day, what hour? Nobody knows. Not the angels, not the Son. Only the Father. Two weeks. It'll probably be in two weeks. Everything is two weeks.

37It's going to be like the days of Noah. Noah. Great builder. Huge boat. Very underrated developer.

38Before the flood, people were eating and drinking and getting married, right up until the day Noah got on the boat. Partying. No idea what was coming.

39They had no clue until the flood came and took them all away. That's how it's going to be when the Son of Man comes. Nobody listened to Noah. Nobody listens to me either. Then they say, 'Wow, he was right.'

40Two guys are working in a field. One gets taken, one gets left. Very selective process. Very elite.

41Two women are grinding grain. One gets taken, one gets left.

42So stay awake. You don't know what day your boss is coming. Stay alert. High energy. Never sleep. I sleep four hours. Maybe three.

43Think about it. If a homeowner knew what time the burglar was coming, he'd stay up and wouldn't let him break in. Security, folks. Get good security. And a wall.

44So you have to be ready, because the Son of Man is coming when you least expect it. Surprise visit. I love a surprise visit. Catches everybody slacking.

45Who's the good, smart employee? The one the boss puts in charge of everybody else, to make sure they all get fed on time. A good manager. Very hard to find.

46That guy's going to be very happy if the boss shows up and finds him doing his job. Employee of the month. Big bonus.

47I'm telling you, the boss is going to put him in charge of everything he owns. Promoted. CEO. The whole portfolio.

48But say that employee's a bad guy, and he thinks, 'The boss is gone. He's not coming back for a while.'

49And he starts pushing the other employees around, and partying with drunks. Party animal. Bad management. Terrible culture.

50The boss is going to show up on a day he doesn't expect, at a time he doesn't know. Surprise inspection. They never see it coming.

51And he's going to cut him to pieces and throw him in with the hypocrites, where everybody's crying and grinding their teeth.” You're fired. Very, very fired. The most fired anyone's ever been.