Chapter 4

1Back by the lake, teaching again. The crowd got so big he climbed into a boat, pushed off, and sat out on the water while everybody stood on the shore. Floating stage. Very innovative.

2He taught them a lot of things with stories. Great storyteller. The best. He said,

3“Listen up! A guy goes out to plant some seed. Not a smart guy.

4He throws it everywhere. On the path! The birds eat it. Free food for birds. Total waste.

5Some of it lands on rocky ground. Comes up fast. Very fast. Looks great on the first quarterly report.

6Then the sun comes out, and it's dead. No foundation. Like a building with no foundation. I've seen them. Cheap steel.

7Some lands in the thorns, and the thorns choke it out. Regulations, folks. The thorns are regulations.

8And some lands on good soil, and it produces thirty, sixty, a hundred times as much. A hundred times! But he wasted most of it. If he'd asked me, I'd have told him, put it all on the good soil. Location, location, location.”

9Then Trump said, “If you've got ears, use them.”

10Later, when it was just him and the Twelve and a few others, they asked him about the stories.

11He said, “You get the inside information. Very exclusive. Everybody else gets stories.

12And they don't even know they're stories. That's the beauty. They think it's about farming.”

13Then he said, “You didn't get it either? It's a real estate story. Very simple. Very simple story.

14The farmer's the developer.

15The path is a bad neighborhood. You build there, they rob you blind before the paint's dry. Satan runs that neighborhood. Total thief.

16The rocky ground is the cheap deal. Very exciting at first. Big headlines. Everybody loves it.

17Then the first bit of trouble comes, and it's gone. Bankrupt. Fair-weather investors. Very disloyal.

18The thorns are the regulators.

19The regulators, and the taxes, and the lawyers, and the zoning boards. They choke everything. Nothing gets built. Nothing.

20And the good soil? That's my properties. Thirty, sixty, a hundred times. Every time. Winners.”

21He said, “Do you buy a beautiful lamp and put it under a bucket? Or under the bed? No! You put it up high where everybody can see it. Like a chandelier. In the lobby.

22Never hide anything. Everything comes out eventually. Everything. Except my tax returns. Those are under audit.

23If you've got ears, use them.”

24“Pay attention to what you hear,” he said. “However you measure it out, that's how it gets measured back to you. Plus a bonus.

25If you've got something, you're getting more. If you've got nothing, they're taking what you've got. That's how it works.”

26He also said, “The kingdom of God is like a guy who throws seed on the ground.

27He goes to sleep, he gets up, night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows, and he doesn't even know how. Passive income. Best kind of income.

28The ground does it all by itself. First the stalk, then the head, then the full grain.

29And when it's ready, he goes in with the sickle, because it's harvest time. Cash out.”

30Again he said, “What's the kingdom of God like? What story can I use?

31It's like a mustard seed. The smallest seed you've ever seen. Tiny. So tiny.

32But you plant it, and it grows into the biggest plant in the garden, with branches so big the birds can build nests in the shade. Small start, huge finish. Like a loan from your father. A small loan.”

33He told a lot of stories like that. As much as they could handle.

34Never talked to the crowds without a story. But alone with his own guys, he explained everything. Insider briefings. Very exclusive.

35That night he told the disciples, “Let's go across to the other side.”

36So they left the crowd and took off in the boat with him, just like he was. Other boats tagged along. A flotilla. Boat parade. Very big.

37Then a huge storm hits. Waves crashing over the side. Boat filling up with water. Terrible storm. Category five.

38And Trump? In the back. Asleep on a cushion. Totally calm. They shake him awake. “Sir! Don't you care that we're going to drown?” Panic. Very weak.

39He gets up, tells the wind off, and says to the waves, “Quiet. Calm down.” And the wind just quits. Dead calm. Like a lake at Mar-a-Lago.

40He said to his disciples, “Why are you so scared? You're in a boat with Trump. Nothing bad happens in a boat with Trump. Nothing.”

41Now they were really scared. “Who is this guy? Even the wind and the waves do what he says!” Who is he? He's Trump. That's who.