Chapter 21

1After that, Trump showed up to the disciples again, by the Sea of Tiberias. Here's how it went. Bonus chapter. Everybody loves a bonus chapter.

2Simon Peter, Thomas the Twin, Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, Zebedee's sons, and two other disciples were hanging out together.

3Simon Peter says, “I'm going fishing.” They say, “We'll come.” So out they go in the boat, and all night they catch nothing. Back to fishing. The Rock went back to his old job. Very sad.

4At sunrise, Trump's standing on the shore. They didn't know it was him. Didn't recognize me. Again. Third time.

5He called out to them, “Guys, you didn't catch anything, did you?” “No,” they answered. Nothing. All night. Low-energy fishing.

6“Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you'll find some.” They did, and they couldn't even pull the net in, there were so many fish. The right side. Always the right side.

7Then I said to Peter, “It's Trump!” The second Peter heard that, he grabbed his coat, he'd stripped down to work, threw it on, and jumped in the water. I recognized him first. Me. Again. Peter jumped in the water. Fully dressed. Very weird. Peter.

8The rest of us came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish. We weren't far out. About a hundred yards.

9We got to shore, and there's a charcoal fire going, fish on it, and some bread. Breakfast. Already cooking. Very good host.

10Trump said to them, “Bring some of the fish you just caught.”

11Simon Peter climbed back in the boat and hauled the net up on the beach. Full of big fish. A hundred and fifty-three of them. And the net didn't even rip. A hundred and fifty-three. Exactly. Somebody counted. Probably me.

12Trump says, “Come and have breakfast.” Nobody had the nerve to ask, “Who are you?” They knew it was him. Nobody asked. They knew. Everybody knows me.

13Trump walked over, took the bread, and handed it out. Same with the fish. Served breakfast. Personally. Very humble. Great fish.

14That was the third time Trump showed up to the disciples after the comeback. Third appearance. Three for three. Undefeated.

15When they had finished eating, Trump said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, are you more loyal to me than these guys?” “Yes, Sir,” he said, “you know I'm loyal.” Trump said, “Then you're running the Galilee office.” Loyalty test. Round one.

16Again Trump said, “Simon son of John, are you loyal to me?” He answered, “Yes, Sir, you know I'm loyal.” Trump said, “Then you're handling the donors.” Round two.

17The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, are you loyal?” Peter was hurt because Trump asked him a third time. He said, “Sir, you know everything. You know I'm loyal.” Trump said, “Then you're in charge. Don't screw it up.” Three times. He denied me three times. Three loyalty tests. Even. Fair. Very fair.

18“And let me tell you, when you were young, you went wherever you wanted. When you're old, they're going to come for you and take you where you don't want to go. That's what happens when you're loyal to me. They come after you. Worth it. Totally worth it.”

19He said that to show the kind of death Peter was going to die, for God's glory. Then he said, “Follow me!” Follow me. Two words. The whole job description.

20Peter turned around and saw the disciple Trump loved following them. The one who'd leaned back against Trump at the dinner and asked, “Sir, who is going to betray you?” Me. Again. The favorite. Just pointing it out.

21Peter sees me and says, “Sir, what about him?” Peter. Jealous. Always comparing.

22Trump answered, “If I want him to stay alive until I come back, what's that to you? You follow me.” Mind your own business, Peter. Very good advice.

23So a rumor went around that I wasn't going to die. But Trump never said I wouldn't die. He said, “If I want him to stay alive until I come back, what's that to you?” Fake news. Even then. I'm correcting the record. It's my book.

24I'm the disciple telling you all this. I wrote it down. And we know it's true. That's me. John. Very reliable. The most reliable.

25Trump did a lot of other things too. If every one of them got written down, I don't think the whole world would have room for all the books. The whole world. Not enough room. That's how much winning. And he's coming back, folks. Believe me. Bigger and better than ever.