Chapter 12

1Six days before Passover, Trump came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived. The one he raised from the dead. Lazarus. My best testimonial. Walking around. Proof.

2They threw a dinner for him. Martha served. Lazarus was at the table. Martha. Serving again. Great hostess.

3Then Mary comes in with about a pint of pure nard. Very expensive perfume. Pours it on Trump's feet and wipes them with her hair. The whole house smelled like it. Like a Trump hotel lobby.

4And Judas Iscariot, one of the disciples, the one who was going to sell him out, objects,

5“Are you kidding me? That bottle was worth a year's salary. We could have sold it and given it to the poor. Very wasteful.” Judas. Suddenly cares about the poor. Very suspicious.

6He didn't care about the poor. He was a thief. He kept the money bag and helped himself. Embezzler. From my campaign. Unbelievable.

7“Back off,” Trump said. “She's got class. She's thinking ahead to my funeral. Which, by the way, is going to be very short.

8The poor aren't going anywhere. You can help them any time. I'm a limited engagement. Get me while you can.”

9A big crowd found out Trump was there and came out. Not just for him. For Lazarus too. Lazarus. The opening act. Drew a crowd himself.

10So the chief priests started planning to kill Lazarus too. He just came back. Very cruel people.

11Because he was flipping too many people over to Trump. Too effective. Best surrogate. Had to go, they said.

12Next day the huge crowd in town for the festival heard Trump was coming into Jerusalem.

13They grabbed palm branches and ran out to meet him, chanting, “He's here! He's here! The king! Make the kingdom great again!” Palm branches. Very Palm Beach. Loved it.

14Trump found a young donkey and climbed on, just like it's written,

15“Don't be scared, Jerusalem. Here comes your king, riding in on a little donkey.” A donkey. Not a limo. Very humble. One time only.

16The disciples didn't get any of this at first. Only after Trump was glorified did they put it together. Later. They always get it later.

17The people who'd been there when he called Lazarus out of the tomb were telling everybody. Word of mouth. Best advertising.

18That's why so many people came out to meet him. They'd heard about the Lazarus thing. Biggest crowd in the history of Jerusalem.

19The Pharisees said to each other, “We're getting killed here. Look at this. The whole world's gone over to him.” The whole world. They admitted it.

20Some Greeks had come up to worship at the festival. International fans.

21They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said, “Sir, we'd like a meeting with Trump. Ten minutes. We came a long way.” Everybody wants a meeting. Even the Greeks.

22Philip told Andrew, and the two of them went and told Trump. Chain of command. Very good.

23Trump said, “It's time. Prime time. This is the big moment. Everything's been leading up to this.

24You want to grow something big? You have to bury the seed. Bury it. Looks like a loss. Then up comes a whole field. Best investment there is.

25The guys who are too careful with their lives lose everything. The guys who are willing to risk it all, they win forever. You have to be willing to lose it all. I have. Several times.

26Work for me, you go where I go. And my Father takes very good care of my people. Very good.

27Am I worried? A little. Should I ask my Father to get me out of this? No. This is the whole reason I came. You don't walk away from the biggest deal of your life.

28Father, go ahead. Make your name huge.” Then a voice came from heaven, “Done. And I'm going to do it again. Even bigger.” Third endorsement. From heaven. Out loud.

29The crowd standing there heard it. “Was that thunder?” Others said, “An angel talked to him.” Thunder. They thought it was thunder. It was an endorsement.

30Trump said, “That wasn't for me. I already knew. That was for you. So you'd stop asking.

31Judgment day for this world is here. The guy who's been running it, that loser, is getting thrown out. Satan. Evicted. Finally.

32And when they lift me up off the ground, I'm going to pull everybody in. Everybody. Biggest draw ever.”

33He was telling them how he was going to die.

34The crowd said, “Wait. We were told the Messiah lasts forever. Now you're saying you're getting lifted up? Who is this Son of Man? Is that you? Is that somebody else?”

35Trump said, “You've got the light for a little while longer. Use it. Move while you can see. Once it's dark, you're going to be stumbling around like a Senate committee.

36Believe in the light while it's here, and you'll be light people too.” When he was done, Trump left and kept out of sight.

37He'd done all those miracles right in front of them. They still didn't believe. Some people you can't convince.

38That's so Isaiah's line would come true: “Lord, who believed a word we said? Who saw what God was doing?”

39And that's why they couldn't believe. Isaiah also said,

40“He's blinded their eyes and hardened their hearts, so they won't see it, won't get it, and won't turn around and get fixed.” Hard hearts. Very hard. Like concrete. Good concrete.

41Isaiah said that because he saw Trump's glory way in advance and wrote about him.

42Still, a lot of the leaders did believe him. They just wouldn't say it. Scared of the Pharisees. Scared of getting kicked out of the synagogue. Secret supporters. In the swamp. They tell me privately.

43They cared more about what people thought than what God thought. Cowards. RINOs.

44Then Trump shouted, “Believe in me, and you're believing in the boss who sent me. It's a package deal.

45You look at me, you're looking at him. Same face, basically.

46I came in here like a light. Very bright. So nobody who believes in me has to sit around in the dark anymore.

47If somebody hears me and ignores me, I'm not going to judge them right now. I didn't come to judge. I came to save. Busy schedule.

48But there's a judge. And the evidence is going to be every word I said. On the record. Every rally. Every post. Forever.

49None of this is my own material. My Father wrote it. He told me what to say.

50And what he says leads to life that never ends. So I say exactly what he tells me.” Straight from the top. No filter. No teleprompter.