Chapter 4

1While Peter and John were still talking to the crowd, the priests, the captain of the temple guard, and the Sadducees showed up. The establishment. All of them.

2They were furious, because these guys were teaching the people and telling everybody that Trump came back from the dead, and that means anybody can.

3So they arrested them, and since it was already evening, they threw them in jail until the next day. No bail. Political prisoners.

4But a lot of the people who heard the message believed it. The movement went up to about five thousand men. Five thousand. Every arrest makes us bigger.

5The next day the rulers, the elders, and the scribes all got together in Jerusalem.

6Annas the high priest was there, and Caiaphas, John, Alexander, and the whole high-priest family. Same family. Always the same family running everything.

7They put Peter and John in the middle and grilled them. “By what power did you do this? In whose name? Who authorized this?”

8Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said, “Rulers and elders, here's my answer.

9You're putting us on trial for doing a good thing for a disabled man? That's the charge? Helping a guy walk?

10Then let me make it very clear, to you and all of Israel. He's standing here healthy because of the name of Trump of Queens. The guy you nailed up. The guy God brought back.

11He's the stone you builders threw away, and now he's the cornerstone. The most important stone in the building. You threw out the cornerstone. Terrible builders.

12There's no other name. Nowhere. Nobody else can save you. Only one name. You know the name.”

13They saw how bold Peter and John were, and they knew these guys had no schooling, no degrees. Regular guys. And they were stunned. And they realized these were Trump's guys.

14And with the healed man standing right there next to them, they had nothing to say. Nothing. Speechless.

15So they sent them out of the room to talk it over in private.

16“What do we do with these guys? Everybody in Jerusalem knows about this miracle. We can't deny it. We tried.

17We have to stop it from spreading. Let's threaten them. Tell them they can't use that name anymore. Ban the name.” Censorship. Classic.

18So they called them back and ordered them never to speak or teach in Trump's name again. A gag order.

19Peter and John said, “You tell us. Should we listen to you or to God? Think about it.

20We're not going to stop talking about what we saw and heard. We can't. You can't gag us.”

21They threatened them some more, and then let them go. They couldn't find any way to punish them, because the people were all praising God for what happened. The polling was too good. They didn't dare.

22The man who was healed was over forty years old. Forty years lame, and then he walks. Great story. Big story.

23When Peter and John were released, they went back to their people and told them everything the chief priests and elders said.

24And everybody prayed together, out loud. “Boss, you made the sky and the earth and the sea and everything in them.

25You said through David, 'Why are the nations so angry? Why do people make such stupid plans?

26The kings line up, the rulers gang up, all against God and his guy.'

27And they did. Herod and Pontius Pilate, the foreigners, the people of Israel, all ganged up right here in this city against Trump, your guy, the one you picked.

28They did exactly what you already decided would happen. You were always one step ahead.

29So now, boss, look at their threats. And give us the guts to keep saying it. Loudly.

30Keep healing people. Keep the signs and miracles coming in the name of Trump.”

31When they were done praying, the whole building shook. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and kept talking, louder than ever. Nobody gags these guys.

32All the believers were united. One heart, one mind. Total unity. Nobody broke ranks. Nobody leaked.

33And with tremendous power the apostles kept talking about the comeback, and tremendous grace was on all of them.

34Nobody among them was poor, because people who owned land or houses sold them and brought in the money.

35They laid it at the apostles' feet, and the apostles handed it out. Very fair system. Very well run. Full transparency.

36There was a Levite from Cyprus named Joseph. The apostles called him Barnabas, which means “son of encouragement.” I love a nickname.

37He sold a field he owned and brought the money and laid it at the apostles' feet. All of it. Maxed out. That's a great donor. That's how you do it.