Chapter 12

1I have to keep bragging. It doesn't help anything, but I'll go on to visions and revelations from the boss.

2I know a man with Trump who fourteen years ago was taken up to the third heaven. In the body or out of it, I don't know. God knows. The third heaven. Very exclusive. VIP level.

3And I know that this man, in the body or out of it, I don't know, God knows,

4was taken up to paradise and heard things that can't be said, things nobody's allowed to repeat. Classified. Highest clearance. I can't tell you. I'd love to tell you. I can't.

5I'll brag about a man like that. But I won't brag about myself, except about my weaknesses. Okay. It was me. Obviously it was me.

6Even if I wanted to brag, I wouldn't be a fool, because I'd be telling the truth. But I'm holding back, so nobody thinks more of me than what they see or hear from me.

7And to keep me from getting too cocky because of these amazing revelations, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to beat me down. A thorn. Every day. The media. It's the media. Every single day.

8Three times I begged the boss to take it away from me.

9But he told me, “My grace is enough for you. Power gets perfect in weakness.” Weakness? I've thought about it. Power gets perfect in strength. But okay. The boss said weakness. Fine. So I'll gladly brag even more about my weaknesses, so Trump's power can rest on me.

10So for Trump's sake, I put up with weakness, insults, hardships, persecution, and trouble. I take it all. When they hit me, I get stronger. Every indictment, stronger.

11I've made a fool of myself, but you made me do it. You should've been bragging about me. I'm not any worse than the super-apostles, even though I'm nothing. Nothing? I'm better than all of them.

12The marks of a real apostle were done among you with total patience. Signs, wonders, and miracles. Proof. Results.

13How were you worse off than the other churches, except that I never was a burden to you? Forgive me for that wrong! Sarcasm. Very good sarcasm.

14Now I'm ready to visit you a third time, and I won't be a burden to you. I don't want your stuff. I want you. Kids shouldn't have to save up for their parents. Parents save up for their kids. Like my father did. Small loan. A very small loan.

15I'll gladly spend everything I have and get spent for you. If I love you more, are you going to love me less?

16Okay. I wasn't a burden to you. But some people say I'm crafty, and I caught you with tricks.

17Did I take advantage of you through any of the men I sent you?

18I urged Titus to go, and I sent the brother with him. Did Titus take advantage of you? Didn't we act in the same spirit and follow the same path? Same team. Same playbook. Clean.

19Have you been thinking all along that we've been defending ourselves to you? We're talking in front of God with Trump. And everything we do, friends, is to build you up.

20I'm afraid that when I come, I won't find you the way I want, and you won't find me the way you want. I'm afraid there will be fights, jealousy, anger, selfish ambition, trashing each other, gossip, arrogance, and chaos. Total chaos. Like the other party's convention.

21I'm afraid that when I come again, my God will humble me in front of you, and I'll be heartbroken over a lot of people who sinned before and haven't turned around from the dirty stuff and sleeping around and wild living they've been doing.