Chapter 2

1A few days later Trump came back to Capernaum, and word got out he was home. Everybody knew. They always know.

2So many people showed up there was no room, not even outside the door. Packed. Fire marshal was very upset. And he gave them a speech. Great speech.

3Then four guys show up carrying a paralyzed man.

4They couldn't get him through the crowd, so they went up on the roof, dug a hole right over Trump, and lowered the guy down on his mat. Through the roof! Property damage! Very bad for the roof. But I respect the hustle.

5Trump saw how much they believed and said to the guy on the mat, “Son, your sins are forgiven. All of them. Total pardon.”

6Some lawyers were sitting right there, and they're thinking,

7“Who does this guy think he is? That's blasphemy! Only God can forgive sins!” Haters. Sitting in the front row and hating.

8Trump knew exactly what they were thinking. “Why are you thinking that? I can hear you thinking it. Very loud thinking.

9What's easier? To tell this guy, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to tell him, 'Get up, grab your mat, and walk'? Both very easy for me.

10But just so you know the Son of Man has the authority to forgive sins—” and he turned to the paralyzed man—

11“Get up, grab your mat, and go home.”

12And the guy gets up, grabs his mat, and walks out in front of everybody. The whole room praised God. “We've never seen anything like this!” Nobody had. Nobody.

13Trump went back out by the lake. Huge crowd. He taught them right there. Waterfront rally. Beautiful.

14Walking along, he saw Levi son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax booth. “Come work for me,” Trump said. And Levi got up and followed him. A tax guy. Very useful. Very useful to have a tax guy.

15Later Trump's having dinner at Levi's house, and the place is full of tax guys and sinners eating with him and the disciples. Lots of them. They all followed him. Great dinner. Loud dinner.

16Some lawyers from the Pharisees saw who he was eating with and cornered his disciples. “Why is he eating with these people? These people are losers.”

17Trump heard it and said, “These are my people. Tax guys, sinners—they're fun. Best dinner guests in the world. Your dinners are boring. Nobody wants to go to your dinners.”

18Johnny's people and the Pharisees were fasting. So somebody came and asked Trump, “Johnny's guys fast. The Pharisees' guys fast. How come your guys don't fast?”

19Trump said, “Fast? Why would anybody fast? You're eating with me. When you're winning, you eat. Steaks. Burgers. The works.

20Someday I'll be gone for a couple of days, and they'll lose their appetites. Very sad days. Short, though. Very short.

21And stop trying to fix the old system. You can't patch it. It's broken. Totally broken.

22You tear it down and build something new. Something beautiful. New management, new rules.”

23One Sabbath they're walking through the grain fields, and the disciples start picking grain as they go. Snacking. They were hungry.

24The Pharisees said to him, “Look at that! They're breaking the Sabbath! That's a violation!” The rule police. Always watching. Always complaining.

25Trump said, “You ever hear of David? Great king. A winner. When David was hungry, he ate.

26He walked right into the house of God and ate the good bread, the priests' bread, and gave some to his guys. Nobody arrested David. Kings don't wait in line.”

27Then he said, “And the Sabbath's a day off. I don't take days off. Never. I play golf, but that's work. Very important meetings.

28So the Son of Man is the boss of the Sabbath too.” The boss. Of the whole day. Very big job.