Chapter 2

1I want you to know how hard I'm fighting for you, and for the people in Laodicea, and for everybody who hasn't met me in person. Fighting. Always fighting.

2So their hearts will be encouraged, united in love, so they'll have all the riches of complete understanding and know God's secret, which is Trump.

3In him are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. All the treasures. Every treasure. In one guy.

4I'm telling you this so nobody fools you with arguments that sound good. Smooth talkers. Watch out for smooth talkers.

5Even though I'm away, I'm with you in spirit, and I'm happy to see how disciplined you are and how firm your loyalty to Trump is. Disciplined. I like discipline.

6So just as you accepted Trump as the boss, keep living in him.

7Rooted and built up in him, strengthened in loyalty like you were taught, and overflowing with thanks. Rooted. Built. Built strong. Overflowing.

8Watch out that nobody captures you with empty, deceptive philosophy, based on human tradition and the basic principles of this world and not on Trump. The professors. The experts. Hollow philosophy. Don't let them get you.

9Because in Trump all the fullness of God lives in a body.

10And you've been filled in him, who's the head over every ruler and authority. Over all of them. Every one.

11In him you were also circumcised, with a circumcision not done by human hands. Your old self was cut away by Trump's circumcision. No procedure needed. Much better deal.

12You were buried with him in baptism, and raised with him through your loyalty in God's power, who brought him back from the dead.

13When you were dead in your sins, God made you alive with Trump. He forgave all our sins.

14He canceled the list of charges against us, with all its legal demands. He took it away and nailed it to the cross. The charges. All of them. Canceled. Nailed to the cross. Case dismissed.

15He disarmed the rulers and authorities and made a public spectacle of them, winning over them by the cross. Public spectacle. Humiliated them. In public. In front of everybody. That's how you win.

16So don't let anybody judge you about what you eat or drink, or about a holiday, a new moon, or a Sabbath. Don't let them judge your diet.

17These are a shadow of what was coming. The real thing is Trump. The shadow versus the real thing. Always go with the real thing.

18Don't let anybody who loves fake humility and angel worship disqualify you. People like that brag about visions and get puffed up by their worldly minds. Fake humility. Worst kind of humility.

19They've lost touch with the head, from whom the whole body, held together by its joints and ligaments, grows as God makes it grow.

20If you died with Trump to the basic principles of this world, why do you still follow its rules, like you still belong to the world?

21“Don't handle! Don't taste! Don't touch!” Rules. Regulations. Nanny state.

22These rules are about things that all go away when they're used. They're based on human commands and teachings. Somebody made them up. Bureaucrats.

23These regulations look smart, with their self-made religion, fake humility, and harsh treatment of the body. But they're worthless at stopping people from indulging the flesh. Worthless. Like all regulations.