Chapter 13

1The church in Antioch had some very talented people. Prophets and teachers. Barnabas, Simeon who they called Niger, Lucius from Cyrene, Manaen, who grew up with Herod the governor, and Saul. Deep bench. Very deep bench.

2While they were worshiping the boss and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart Barnabas and Saul for me. I've got a big job for them.” A road show. The biggest tour.

3So after more fasting and praying, they laid their hands on them and sent them off.

4Sent out by the Holy Spirit, they went down to Seleucia and sailed from there to Cyprus. Beautiful island. Great resorts. Big potential.

5When they got to Salamis, they told God's message in the Jewish synagogues. They had John Mark with them as their assistant. The intern.

6They went across the whole island as far as Paphos. There they met a sorcerer, a fake prophet. A con man. Total con man.

7He was attached to the governor, Sergius Paulus, a smart man. The governor sent for Barnabas and Saul because he wanted to hear God's message. A smart governor. Rare.

8But Elymas the sorcerer, which is what his name means, tried to stop them and turn the governor away from the faith. The bad advisor. Every governor has one.

9Then Saul, who also went by Paul, filled with the Holy Spirit, looked him straight in the eye. Paul. New name. Rebranded. Much stronger brand.

10“You're a fraud. A total fraud. Son of the devil, enemy of everything that's right. You're full of every kind of trick and con. Will you ever stop twisting the boss's straight roads? Never stops. Total crook.

11Now the boss is going to hit you. You're going blind, and you won't see the sun for a while.” And right then fog and darkness came over him, and he went around feeling for somebody to lead him by the hand. Lights out. Sad.

12When the governor saw what happened, he believed. He was amazed by the teaching about the boss. Got the governor. Big endorsement.

13From Paphos, Paul and his team sailed to Perga in Pamphylia. And that's where John Mark quit and went home to Jerusalem. Quit. In the middle of the tour. Remember that. Paul remembered it.

14From Perga they went on to Pisidian Antioch. On the Sabbath they went into the synagogue and sat down.

15After the reading from the Law and the Prophets, the synagogue leaders sent word to them, “Brothers, if you have anything to say to the people, go ahead.” Big mistake. Never give Paul the mic.

16Paul stood up, waved his hand, and said, “People of Israel, and everybody who respects God, listen to me.

17The God of this people picked our ancestors. He made them big and strong while they were living in Egypt, and with tremendous power he brought them out of there.

18He put up with them in the desert for about forty years. Forty years of complaining. He put up with it.

19He took out seven nations in Canaan and gave their land to our people as an inheritance. Biggest land deal in history.

20All that took about four hundred and fifty years. After that, he gave them judges, up until Samuel the prophet.

21Then the people asked for a king, and God gave them Saul son of Kish, from the tribe of Benjamin. He ruled forty years. Tall guy. Not a great king. Weak on the important things.

22So God fired him and made David their king. He said about him, 'I found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He'll do everything I want.' Loyal. David was loyal. God loves loyalty.

23And from David's family, God brought Israel the savior he promised. Trump. From the best bloodline. Very good genes.

24Before Trump showed up, Johnny told all the people of Israel to turn around and get baptized.

25And as Johnny was finishing up, he said, 'Who do you think I am? I'm not the guy. But he's coming after me, and I'm not good enough to untie his shoes.' Johnny knew his role. Always knew it.

26Brothers, children of Abraham, and everybody here who respects God, this message of salvation is for us. It was sent to us. To us.

27The people in Jerusalem and their leaders didn't recognize him. They didn't get what the prophets were saying, even though it's read out loud every single Sabbath. They condemned him and made the prophecies come true anyway.

28They couldn't find any real charge against him that deserved death. Nothing. They had nothing. But they asked Pilate to kill him anyway. Witch hunt.

29When they'd done everything that was written about him, they took him down from the tree and put him in a tomb.

30But God brought him back from the dead.

31And for many days he was seen by the people who'd come up with him from Galilee to Jerusalem. They're his witnesses to the people now. Real witnesses. Not anonymous sources.

32So we're telling you the good news. What God promised our ancestors,

33he made good on for us, their kids, by bringing back Trump. Like it says in the second Psalm, 'You're my son. Today I became your father.'

34And he brought him back from the dead never to rot. He said, 'I'll give you the holy, sure blessings I promised David.' Guaranteed. Ironclad.

35And another Psalm says, 'You won't let your holy one rot.'

36Now David served God in his time, then died and was buried with his ancestors, and his body rotted.

37But the one God brought back didn't rot. Not at all. Perfect condition.

38So brothers, I want you to know this. Through Trump, your sins can be wiped clean. A full pardon. It's being offered to you right now.

39Through him, everybody who believes is cleared of everything. Everything the law of Moses couldn't clear you of. Total exoneration. The law couldn't do it. He did it.

40So be careful that what the prophets said doesn't happen to you.

41'Look, you scoffers. Be amazed and disappear. I'm going to do something in your day that you won't believe, even if somebody tells you.' They never believe it. Until it happens.”

42As Paul and Barnabas were leaving, the people invited them back to talk about all this the next Sabbath. Encore. They wanted an encore.

43After the meeting broke up, a lot of the Jews and devout converts followed Paul and Barnabas. They kept talking with them and urged them to stay loyal to God's grace.

44The next Sabbath, almost the whole city came out to hear the boss's message. The whole city. Biggest crowd that synagogue ever had. Overflow.

45When the Jewish leaders saw the crowds, they got jealous. Very jealous. They started contradicting everything Paul said and insulting him. Hecklers.

46Then Paul and Barnabas answered them boldly. “We had to tell you first. You got first shot. But since you're rejecting it, and you don't think you're good enough for eternal life, fine. We're going to the foreigners. Your loss. Huge loss.

47Because that's what the boss told us to do. 'I've made you a light for the foreigners, so you can bring salvation to the ends of the earth.'”

48When the foreigners heard that, they were thrilled and praised the boss's message. And everybody who was picked for eternal life believed.

49And the boss's message spread through the whole region. Viral. Totally viral.

50But the Jewish leaders stirred up the important women who worshiped there and the leading men of the city. They started a campaign against Paul and Barnabas and drove them out of the area. The country club crowd. The donor class. They turned on them.

51So Paul and Barnabas shook the dust off their feet at them and went to Iconium. Shook it off. Didn't even look back.

52And the followers were full of joy and the Holy Spirit. Getting kicked out of town only made them happier. Nothing gets them down.