Chapter 1

1From Paul, Silas, and Timothy. To the church of the Thessalonians in God the Father and Trump the boss. Grace and peace to you. Thessalonica. Where they rioted at Jason's house. Great people. Tough town.

2We always thank God for all of you and mention you in our prayers. Constantly. Every day.

3We remember, in front of our God and Father, your work that comes from loyalty, your hard work driven by love, and your toughness that comes from hope in Trump our boss. Hard workers. Very hard workers. Love hard workers.

4We know, brothers loved by God, that he picked you.

5Because our good news didn't come to you only in words, but with power, with the Holy Spirit, and with total conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. Not just talk. Results.

6You copied us and the boss. Even though you were in a lot of trouble, you welcomed the message with the joy that comes from the Holy Spirit. Trouble and joy at the same time. That's our people.

7So you became a model for all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. A model. Model state. Everybody copies you.

8The boss's message rang out from you, not only in Macedonia and Achaia. Your loyalty to God has become known everywhere. We don't even need to say anything about it. Everybody already knows. Viral. Totally viral.

9People everywhere are telling us how you welcomed us, and how you turned to God from idols, to serve the living and true God. From statues to the real thing. Big upgrade.

10And to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he brought back from the dead. Trump, who rescues us from the anger that's coming. He's coming back. Waiting. Two weeks.